unityfoundations-blog

Teen Relationship Abuse

Thu, 10 Mar 2016 00:12:09 +0100

Communication is a key part to building a healthy relationship. The first step is making sure you both want and expect the same things—being on the same page is very important. The following tips can help you create and maintain a healthy relationship:

Speak Up. In a healthy relationship, if something is bothering you, it’s best to talk about it instead of holding it in.
Respect Your Partner. Your partner’s wishes and feelings have value. Let your significant other know you are making an effort to keep their ideas in mind. Mutual respect is essential in maintaining healthy relationships.
Compromise. Disagreements are a natural part of healthy relationships, but it’s important that you find a way to compromise if you disagree on something. Try to solve conflicts in a fair and rational way.
Be Supportive. Offer reassurance and encouragement to your partner. Also, let your partner know when you need their support. Healthy relationships are about building each other up, not putting each other down.
Respect Each Other’s Privacy. Just because you’re in a relationship, doesn’t mean you have to share everything and constantly be together. Healthy relationships require space.

Healthy Boundaries

Creating boundaries is a good way to keep your relationship healthy and secure. By setting boundaries together, you can both have a deeper understanding of the type of relationship that you and your partner want. Boundaries are not meant to make you feel trapped or like you’re “walking on eggshells.” Creating boundaries is not a sign of secrecy or distrust — it’s an expression of what makes you feel comfortable and what you would like or not like to happen within the relationship.

Remember, healthy boundaries shouldn’t restrict your ability to:

Go out with your friends without your partner.
Participate in activities and hobbies you like.
Not have to share passwords to your email, social media accounts or phone.
Respect each other’s individual likes and needs.

Healthy Relationship Boosters

Even healthy relationships can use a boost now and then. You may need a boost if you feel disconnected from your partner or like the relationship has gotten stale. If so, find a fun, simple activity you both enjoy, like going on a walk, and talk about the reasons why you want to be in the relationship. Then, keep using healthy behaviors as you continue dating.

If you’re single (and especially if you’re a single parent), don’t worry if you need a boost too! Being single can be the best and worst feeling, but remember relationships don’t just include your significant other and you. Think about all the great times you’ve had with your parents, siblings, friends, children, other family members, etc..

Try going out with the people you love and care about the most — watch movies together, go out to eat, take a day off from your busy life and just enjoy being you! If it helps, also talk about your feelings about the relationships in your life. If you just want them to listen, start by telling them that. Then ask what makes relationships good and what makes them bad? Along the way, if you need advice, feel free to contact us. We’re here to help 24/7.

And don’t forget, the relationship you can always boost up is the one you have with yourself!

What Isn’t a Healthy Relationship?

Relationships that are not healthy are based on power and control, not equality and respect. In the early stages of anabusive relationship, you may not think the unhealthy behaviors are a big deal. However, possessiveness, insults, jealous accusations, yelling, humiliation, pulling hair, pushing or other negative, abusive behaviors, are — at their root — exertions of power and control. Remember that abuse is always a choice and you deserve to be respected. There is no excuse for abuse of any kind.

If you think your relationship is unhealthy, it’s important to think about your safety now. Consider these points as you move forward:

Understand that a person can only change if they want to. You can’t force your partner to alter their behavior if they don’t believe they’re wrong.
Focus on your own needs. Are you taking care of yourself? Your wellness is always important. Watch your stress levels, take time to be with friends, get enough sleep. If you find that your relationship is draining you, consider ending it.
Connect with your support systems. Often, abusers try to isolate their partners. Talk to your friends, family members, teachers and others to make sure you’re getting the emotional support you need. Remember, our advocates are always ready to talk if you need a listening ear.
Think about breaking up. Remember that you deserve to feel safe and accepted in your relationship.

Even though you cannot change your partner, you can make changes in your own life to stay safe. Consider leaving your partner before the abuse gets worse.

http://www.loveisrespect.org/healthy-relationships/

JESSICA CAIN

Wed, 09 Mar 2016 19:12:36 +0100

A young woman named Jessica Cain, just days away from her high school graduation, had spent the evening performing in a musical gala. A few of her drama club friends celebrated their performance at a Bennigan s restaurant in the Clear Lake area. Then, she drove away in her pickup truck and simply vanished.

You wake up one morning after spending a lovely evening with your friend and you re told she s not there, recalls David Stallings, one of her high school friends. And you look for her.

Her father found her truck parked on the shoulder of the Gulf Freeway, but she was nowhere in sight. Her wallet was inside. Authorities dusted her truck for fingerprints, but found nothing that indicated what might have happened.

Her disappearance triggered a massive and frantic search, with deputies slogging through marshes on horseback, and dogs searching through thick brush. Hundreds of volunteers joined the effort, faxing the missing girl s description to every hotel, motel and truck stop within a day s drive.

For a time during those sweltering summer days in the swampy fields around LaMarque, it seemed an entire community wept and prayed for the return of a teenage girl whose photographs dominated newspapers and television newscasts for weeks.

Cain was one of dozens of girls and young women who either vanished or were murdered in an area around the Gulf Freeway in Galveston County that came to be known as the killing fields. Since the 1970s, more than 30 females have apparently died or disappeared, and there is little doubt some of the killings were connected. Four bodies were discovered buried in the same remote patch of land. One victim s father reported receiving a disturbing letter purportedly written by a serial killer who claimed to have murdered a number of others.

People familiar with Cain s disappearance aren t sure whether it s related to the other cases. In fact, they really don t know very much at all about what happened, despite years of searching and investigation, but they re not about to give up
.
http://www.khou.com/story/news/2014/07/21/11796950/

JESSICA CAIN'S DISAPPEARANCE

Wed, 09 Mar 2016 19:04:00 +0100

Authorities continue to scour a property in southeast Houston, searching for the remains of Jessica Cain, a teen who went missing nearly 20 years ago. Now abc13 has learned of a new case linked to the man suspected in Cain's disappearance.

They've been digging on a private property on East Orem Drive and Martindale for more than a week. Authorities say suspect William Reece identified the property.

Reece is in prison on another kidnapping case. But officers have taken him to the site several times to point out places to dig.

Cain was 17 when she disappeared in 1997. We've also learned that detectives from Denton in north Texas were at the dig site last month. That's because Reece is also a person of interest in the disappearance of Kelli Cox, 20.

Cox went missing in Denton in 1997, the same year Cain vanished.

The Denton Police Department issued the following statement:
"The Denton Police Department had an investigator in the Houston area from February 15, 2016 through February 18, 2016. The investigator was working a "cold case" in cooperation with the Texas Rangers. Texas Rangers met with a person of interest in the disappearance of Kelli Cox. Cox went missing in the City of Denton on July 15, 1997. The Denton Police Department is still actively investigating the disappearance of Kelli Cox and will continue until the facts of Kelli Cox's disappearance are known. The Denton Police Department is not able to provide further information at this time."

Reese is a suspect in five kidnapping or murder cases and was convicted in a sixth kidnapping case. That victim escaped.

http://abc13.com/news/another-missing-woman-case-linked-to-suspect/1229997/

FOR-FRONT.

Thu, 10 Mar 2016 00:07:04 +0100

Dating can be a normal part of healthy adolescent development; however, these relationships can sometimes have an ugly side. February is National Teen Dating Violence Prevention and Awareness Month, and the Office of Adolescent Health (OAH) joins other federal efforts, such as the White House’s 1 is 2 Many initiative, to help reduce incidents of teen dating violence.

Did You Know?
Dating violence can include name-calling, public or private humiliation, throwing objects, or posting sexual pictures of a partner online. See the many dimensions of dating violence.

Dating Matters!
Positive dating experiences in adolescence, such as receiving support and affection from a partner, are associated with:

Increased levels of self-esteem, and
Improved communication and conflict management skills.¹

CDC’s Dating Matters Initiative^TM has strategies and training to help those who work with teens promote healthy dating relationships.

Preventing Teen Dating Violence.
Factors that help prevent teens from becoming perpetrators of violence include: being monitored by parents, being engaged in school,perceiving penalties for doing something wrong,and having limited access to violence in the media (such as TV, internet, video games).²

Our new podcast, developed for OAH grantees and found on the OAH site, discusses strategies for preventing teen dating violence, as well as tactics for speaking with victims of dating violence and sexual assault.

Talk with Girls AND Boys.
It’s important to talk about dating violence with both male and female adolescents, as both can be victims and perpetrators. Check out a new report from CDC on the prevalence of intimate partner and sexual violence by sexual orientation. Visit OAH’s Talking with Teens site for tips on how to have conversations about difficult topics.

Dating Violence in Your State.
Rates of dating violence vary across states, from 7% in Vermont to 16% in Georgia. Find out more about student reports of relationship violence and forced sex in your state with OAH’s searchable map.

Get Help.
Teens experiencing dating violence, and the friends and families who care about them, can contact trained professionals at the National Dating Abuse Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 (TTY 1-866-331-8453 for the hearing impaired). Live chat is also available, and assistance via text message is accessible by texting “loveis” to 77054.

GET HELP!/ STOP DATING VIOLENCE

Thu, 26 Dec 2013 23:53:37 +0100

What Is Dating Violence?

What is Dating Violence?

Dating violence is a pattern of abusive behaviors used to exert power and control over a dating partner.

A Pattern of Behavior

Calling dating violence a pattern doesn't mean the first instance of abuse is not dating violence. It just recognizes that dating violence usually involves a series of abusive behaviors over a course of time.

Every relationships is different, but the one thing that is common to most abusive dating relationships is that the violence escalates over time and becomes more and more dangerous for the young victim.

Who Experiences Dating Violence?

Any teen or young adult can experience violence, abuse or unhealthy behaviors in their dating relationships. A relationship may be serious or casual, monogamous or not, short-term or long-term. Dating abuse does not discriminate – it does not see gender, sexual identity, economic status, ethnicity or religious preference.

See more of the statistics on dating violence.

What Does Dating Violence Look Like?

Teens and young adults experience the same types of abuse in relationships as adults. This can include:

Physical Abuse: Any intentional use of physical force with the intent to cause fear or injury, like hitting, shoving, biting, strangling, kicking or using a weapon.
Verbal or Emotional Abuse: Non-physical behaviors such as threats, insults, constant monitoring, humiliation, intimidation, isolation or stalking.
Sexual Abuse: Any action that impacts a person’s ability to control their sexual activity or the circumstances in which sexual activity occurs, including rape, coercion or restricting access to birth control.
Digital Abuse: Use of technologies and/or social media networking to intimidate, harass or threaten a current or ex-dating partner. This could include demanding passwords, checking cell phones, cyber bullying, sexting, excessive or threatening texts or stalking on Facebook or other social media.

If you or a loved one is in a violent relationship, please get help. Visit loveisrespect for more information,chat with a peer advocate online, call 866.331.9474 or text "loveis" to 22522.

Ten Warning Signs of Abuse

While there are many warning signs of abuse, here are ten common abusive behaviors:

Checking your cell phone or email without permission
Constantly putting you down
Extreme jealousy or insecurity
Explosive temper
Isolating you from family or friends
Making false accusations
Mood swings
Physically hurting you in any way
Possessiveness
Telling you what to do

If you or a loved one is in a violent relationship, please get help.

TEEN DATING VIOLENCE

Sun, 18 Mar 2012 07:40:45 +0100

Too Common

Nearly 1.5 million high school students nationwide experience physical abuse from a dating partner in a single year.
One in three adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner, a figure that far exceeds rates of other types of youth violence.
One in 10 high school students has been purposefully hit, slapped or physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend.
One quarter of high school girls have been victims of physical or sexual abuse.

Why Focus on Young People?

Girls and young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence -- almost triple the national average.
Violent behavior typically begins between the ages of 12 and 18.
The severity of intimate partner violence is often greater in cases where the pattern of abuse was established in adolescence.
About 72% of eighth and ninth graders are “dating".

Long-lasting Effects

Violent relationships in adolescence can have serious ramifications by putting the victims at higher risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior and further domestic violence.
Being physically or sexually abused makes teen girls six times more likely to become pregnant and twice as likely to get a STI.
Half of youth who have been victims of both dating violence and rape attempt suicide, compared to 12.5% of non-abused girls and 5.4% of non-abused boys.

Dating Violence and the Law

Eight states currently do not include dating relationships in their definition of domestic violence. As a result, young victims of dating abuse often cannot apply for restraining orders.
New Hampshire is the only state where the law specifically allows a minor of any age to apply for a protection order; more than half of states do not specify the minimum age of a petitioner.
Currently only one juvenile domestic violence court in the country focuses exclusively on teen dating violence.

Lack of Awareness

Only 33% of teens who were in a violent relationship ever told anyone about the abuse.
Eighty one percent of parents believe teen dating violence is not an issue or admit they don’t know if it’s an issue.
A teen’s confusion about the law and their desire for confidentiality are two of the most significant barriers stopping young victims of abuse from seeking help.

UNITYFOUNDATIONS FACEBOOK

Sun, 18 Mar 2012 07:27:41 +0100

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Unity-foundations-Charities/147527408703301

10 Facts About Teen Dating Violence - Teen Dating Abuse Statistics

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 22:53:33 +0100

Unhealthy relationship behaviors often start early and lead to a lifetime of abuse. That's according to Choose Respect, a national initiative to help adolescents and young teens age 11-14 form healthy relationships to prevent dating abuse.

Every student, parent and teacher needs to be aware of the prevalence of teen dating violence in the US. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report that one in eleven adolescents is a victim of physical dating violence.

The following ten facts are from Choose Respect's "Get the Facts: Dating Abuse Statistics" and "About Choose Respect: Dating Abuse Fact Sheet":

Each year approximately one in four adolescents reports verbal, physical, emotional or sexual abuse.
Approximately one in five adolescents reports being a victim of emotional abuse.
Approximately one in five high school girls has been physically or sexually abused by a dating partner.
Dating violence among their peers is reported by 54% of high school students.
One in three teens report knowing a friend or peer who has been physically hurt by his or her partner through violent actions which included hitting, punching, kicking, slapping, and/or choking.
Eighty percent of teens believe verbal abuse is a serious issue for their age group.
Nearly 80% of girls who have been victims of physical abuse in their dating relationships continue to date the abuser.
Nearly 20% of teen girls who have been in a relationship said that their boyfriend had threatened violence or self-harm in the event of a break-up.
Nearly 70% of young women who have been raped knew their rapist; the perpetrator was or had been a boyfriend, friend, or casual acquaintance.
The majority of teen dating abuse occurs in the home of one of the partners.

TEEN DRUG ABUSE AND HOW TO PREVENT IT...

Sun, 02 Jan 2011 03:50:08 +0100

As a parent, the things you say and do have a tremendous influence on the decisions your child makes

especially when it comes to using drugs or alcohol. Research shows that kids who learn a lot about the risks of drugs from their parents are up to 50% less likely to use. By talking to your kids about drugs and alcohol, you can help them make better choices and live safer, healthier lives.

Starting the conversation with your kids and keeping communication open is never easy -- but it's also not as difficult as you may think

Teenage drug use is a big concern for parents in today's society. As children become more and more independent and mature, the temptation to experiment with drugs and alcohol is faced at an increasingly younger age. Making teens understand the dangers of drug use and making sure that they say no is a challenge faced by every responsible parent. Here are some tips to help prevent teenage drug use.

TIPS ON PREVENTING TEEN/YOUTH DRUG ABUSE

Know who their friends are. Teenagers are much more likely to try drugs if they are around other kids who are experimenting with drugs or using them on a regular basis. If you know who your teen's friends are, as well as what they do and where they go when they hang out together, you will be more likely to recognize signs that they are hanging out with kids who are bad influences or who may encourage them to use drugs.

Help them find alternatives. A lot of teens say that they try drugs for the first time simply because they are bored, and it's something to do. Getting teens involved in other activities during their free time will help keep them motivated and interested in positive things. Let them sign up for a sports team. If athletics isn't their thing, get them involved in an academic club, the school band or a volunteer program. Help them try new things until they find something they like.

Boost their self-esteem. Teens with positive self-esteem are less likely to try drugs because they will be more motivated to do well and be accountable for their actions. Let them know that you recognize that they are working hard in school or that they did a great job on last week's book essay; making sure your teen knows you are proud of them will remind them that you care and make them want to do well.

Be honest. While scaring teens with exaggerated stories about a life of crime arising from one experiment with marijuana isn't exactly the way to get them to take you seriously about the dangers of drug use, being honest and up-front with them will make them listen to you. Tell them about statistics that you've read that concern you and make sure that they know the side effects and addictiveness of illegal drugs. If you've known people who have had bad experiences with drugs before, consider sharing these too; teens will take you more seriously if they know you know what you're talking about.

Give them the benefit of the doubt. Do not begin discussing drugs with your teen by accusing them or acting suspicious. This will only cause them to become defensive and make them feel as if you don't trust them. Let them know that you are acting out of concern and not suspicion. This will make them trust you and be more open about their feelings on the issue and any pressure they are feeling

UNITYFOUNDATIONS TEEN DRUG ABUSE PREVENTION

Thu, 23 Sep 2010 03:19:34 +0100

Genetics. People with alcohol and drug abuse problems often have a family history of substance abuse. Studies show that when this genetic predisposition for abuse is combined with environmental factors, the person is more likely to develop a substance abuse problem.
Temperament and personality. Rebelliousness, resistance to authority, feelings of failure, and failure to form close relationships are factors that may lead a teen to seek the effects of alcohol or drugs. Also, sensation-seeking and a tendency to take risks increase a teen's likelihood of developing an abuse problem.²
Certain diseases or conditions. Teens who have untreatedattention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), conduct disorder, depression or long-term depressed feelings (dysthymia), post-traumatic stress disorder, or an anxiety disorder are more likely to use alcohol or drugs. Also, alcohol and drug abuse behaviors may make these conditions worse.³
Drug expectations. A teen develops an expectation of what taking a substance will be like from parents, peers, the media, and personal experience. Teens often have misconceptions about the harmful effects of alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. And they often think that "everybody does it" and so should they.
Early age at first use. Using alcohol or other drugs at a young age greatly increases a teen's risk for developing an abuse problem. One study found that teens who had their first alcoholic drink at age 14 or younger were 4 to 5 times more likely to develop alcohol abuse problems.³

Family risk factors

These include:

Parent’s use of alcohol. Teens are more likely to start using alcohol if their parents use alcohol.³
A parent or teen with a mental illness, with depression, anxiety orattention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
Teen’s view of parent’s attitude. Teens are more likely to start using alcohol if they think their parents approve of drinking.³
Parent's abuse of substances. Teens whose parents abuse alcohol or drugs are more likely to develop an abuse problem.
Parent's attitudes toward alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. Teens whose parents believe that alcohol and drug experimentation is expected and normal are more likely to use alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. In addition, teens may interpret their parents' ambivalent attitude toward substance use as approval of the behavior.
Lack of connectedness. Teens from families with frequent conflict, physical or sexual abuse, or psychological stress are more likely to try alcohol and drugs. Without feelings of closeness, a teen may look to alcohol or drugs to compensate for emotional pain.
Lack of consistent parent involvement. Lack of consistent parent involvement in a child's life and lack of appropriate supervision increase a teen's risk for abusing alcohol, cigarettes, or other drugs. Harsh or inconsistent punishment or permissiveness also increase a teen's risk for alcohol and drug abuse.